Aboard -
A piece of lumber that may be used to repair your boat.
Aft - Acronym for
Automatic Flotation Thing. The Coast Guard requires that you have a personal
flotation device for each member on board; these are the ones that are
supposed to inflate automatically when you hit the water (and you will)
to prevent drowning.
Adrift - A method
of moving across the water when nothing on your boat works. You normally
do not have a lot of input as to where you are actually going, but you
can get there.
Anchor - A mechanical
device that is supposed to keep the boat in one place (see dragging). These
devices are sometimes used to submerge expensive anchor lines and chain
when used without proper termination at both ends of the anchor line.
Astern - A type of
look. Your spouse gives you astern look when you attempt to buy things
for your new boat.
Bilge - This is a
storage area in the bottom of the boat for all the things you dropped and
can not find. Also a mixing area for water, fuel and head output; making
retrieval of said dropped items a real adventure.
Bilge pump - An electrical
device designed to remove the charge from your batteries. These devices
only operate properly when the boat is not taking on water.
Bow - This is what
you do in front of your banker when you are asking for more money to spend
on your boat. As your boat will surely cost much more than what you initially
asked for, it is imperative that you learn how to do this quickly.
Bridge - Something
you cross to get to the other side of a body of water when you do not have
a boat available. Can also used for removing masts of sailing vessels if
the bridge is low enough.
Buoy - A navigational
aid indicating there is something worth noting somewhere close to the location
of the buoy, possibly to one side or the other or below it.
Capsize - They ask
you this when you go to buy a hat or baseball cap.
Chart - The nautical
equivalent of a road map. One must use charts instead of road maps because
road maps usually only show roads and there are usually none of those in
the water and besides you couldn't drive your boat on one anyway unless
you had it on a trailer in which case you would need a road map instead
of a chart.
Cleat - A template
used to practice knot tying that allows knots to easily slip off.
Cockpit - An area
of a sailboat in which people sit in order to get wet.
Compass - A navigational
aid that accurately points to the largest metal object on your boat.
Crew - This term refers
to the people working on your boat. They are usually friends or acquaintances
that do not find out about the "work" part of the ride until you are away
from the dock. Crews have a high turnover rate, they normally will never
want to see you again, let alone set foot on your boat.
Deck - This is what
your spouse will do to you after discovering how much money you have spent
on the boat without first obtaining permission.
Dock - A medical professional,
not sure why the term shows up in a nautical dictionary.
Dragging - A method
of moving about when the anchor is deployed (see anchor).
GPS - An electronic
device that allows you to navigate out of sight of landmarks before the
batteries expire.
Gunwale - (pronounced
"gun-nel") The part of a vessel near the side used for supporting one's
midsection while one is engaged in the practice of heaving.
Hatch - A device similar
in nature to a mousetrap, in that it will drop down on your head or hand
without warning. Also an opening for admitting water into the boat.
Head - 1. It is the
part of your body that sits on top of your neck; you should not be buying
a boat unless you already know this. Also useful for storing items like
hats, sunglasses and such.
Head - 2. The shipboard
equivalent of a bathroom.
Heave - A shipboard
method for eliminating lunch when seas become rough. This is best done
in proximity of a gunwale.
Hull - A famous hockey
player (Bobby).
Keel - A stopping
device for your boat. It works by contacting the bottom of the water body
you are in, thus inhibiting forward motion.
Keys - These items
are used for opening locks and lockers aboard your boat, starting the engine
and things of that nature. Keys can usually be found in the water beneath
your boat. Also a place in Florida.
Lee - A famous Civil
War general. Also meaning away from the wind.
Line - What you feed
your spouse in order to obtain funding for additional boat related purchases.
Mess - A term indicative
of food, more indicative of the way shipboard galleys usually look.
No Wake Zone - An
area of a waterway in which you are prohibited from waking people who may
be sleeping.
Overboard - A term
describing the final resting place for anything expensive dropped while
on board a boat.
PDF - Acronym for
Personal Floatation Device. This is a multifunction device normally used
as a cushion, packing material or sponge. The Coast Guard requires one
for each person on board to ensure they have something soft to sit on in
case standard seating is limited.
Port - This is what
you drink when you are on the boat. Also the left side of the boat, also
a place where boats congregate.
Propeller - A metal
thing that looks like a fan and is attached to your motor. Propellers typically
do not have the same number of blades they came with. The propeller is
a dual purpose item. It both propels your boat through the water and catches
stray dock and rigging lines before they can harm wildlife.
Rudder - This is the
device that steers your boat. The rudder is usually the first part of your
boat to come off when you hit a rock.
Rock - These are devices
used to remove rudders from boats. Also what your boat does just after
you fill all your glasses to the brim with port.
Sailboat Race - Two
or more sailboats headed in approximately the same direction.
Stern - The flat,
back end of your vessel, included so you have a place to paint the name
of your boat. This does not apply to Hans Christian and similar boats because
they have points on both ends and you don't want to risk sounding incompetent
when trying to determine which is which.
Through-the-hull fitting
- A leak.
Topsides - The part
of the boat that is not in the water. Also what you should not be caught
looking at if you are a married male.
Voyage - Any boat
journey long enough to require at least two separate uses of the Head 2,
not counting the one that occurs within 10 minutes of leaving the dock.
Wake - This event
is part of a funeral and often confused with boating. Also what boaters
participate in (their own) when they do not practice safe boating.
Wave - A unique feature
of water that enables it to gain entry into your boat.
Yacht - When discussing
boats, if the other is determined to be smaller than yours, it is then
customary to refer to yours as a yacht.